Hey Reader,
By this point in January, a lot of people start questioning how their New Year’s goals are going.
For some, that looks like feeling discouraged.
For others, it’s more subtle—second-guessing their plan, wondering if they set the “right” goals, or questioning whether this time will really be different.
Missed a few workouts.
Ate off-plan.
Didn’t follow through the way they hoped.
And sometimes, the familiar story starts:
“See? I just don’t have enough willpower.”
“I can’t stay consistent.”
“I always do this.”
Last week, I gave a talk to a room full of women about how to turn good intentions into real, lasting results—and I was reminded just how common this kind of self-doubt can be.
So many people assume they’re the problem.
But here’s the thing…
You may have heard the statistic that 80% of people quit their New Year’s resolutions.
And while that number gets thrown around a lot, what it really points to isn’t that people are lazy, unmotivated, or incapable.
It points to something else entirely:
The way most people are taught to set and pursue goals… doesn’t actually work very well.
When researchers look at what does predict long-term success, it’s not about being stricter, tougher, or more disciplined.
It’s about how goals are designed and what kind of motivation they’re built on.
In fact, people are more likely to stick with goals when they:
• Focus on what they want to move toward (not what they’re trying to escape)
• Start with realistic expectations
• Build confidence early
• Have some kind of structure or support
• Track progress in a flexible, non-all-or-nothing way
In other words—this isn’t a character flaw.
It’s a design problem.
Most resolutions fall apart not because people “fail,” but because they’re built on pressure, guilt, and vague intentions like:
“I need to be better.”
“I just need to make myself do it.”
“I just have to try harder.”
But pressure isn’t sustainable.
And guilt is a terrible long-term motivator.
Real, lasting change happens when goals are designed to support you—not punish you.
So if your goals already feel heavy, draining, or discouraging, I want you to hear this:
That doesn’t mean you’re incapable.
It means your goals might need a different structure.
A better foundation.
One that actually works with real life, not against it.
If you want to try a quick experiment right now, here it is:
Look at one goal you set this year and ask yourself:
Does this feel energizing or exhausting?
If it feels heavy, try this gentle reframe:
“What would make this feel more supportive?”
And if that idea resonates… there may be something in the works around this very topic. Stay tuned. 😉
If you want to share, I’d love to hear: what’s one goal you set this year—and does it feel energizing or exhausting?
I’d love to hear.